I was feeling lonely this morning. Lonely in my journey. Lonely in my marriage. Lonely.
I've been trying to faithfully follow the counsel of my Bishop to read from the scriptures and the Conference talks each day. I picked up the May 2009 Ensign while I ate my breakfast and turned to Sis. Mary N. Cook's talk from the General YW Meeting entitled "A Virtuous Life - Step by Step." There were several things that stood out to me from her talk.
She talked about Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life and said "Some of these mists of darkness, or temptations that Satan uses to obscure the path to eternal life, are specifically directed at women... He has been successful in confusing women about their roles in the Lord's divine plan."
My husband has described his struggles as being in the mists of darkness. I realized this morning how the darkness of pornography has encompassed our marriage in mists of darkness - how Satan has used that temptation for my husband to directly obscure MY understanding of myself, of my worth and value, of my role in the Lord's divine plan.
Sis. Cook continues, "Now, you must remember that you are not alone on this journey...you were given the gift of the Holy Ghost to guide you in all aspects of your life... Sometimes you may feel that you are the only one who is walking on this path...there are...even 'angels round about you, to bear you up' (D&C 88:48)."
"You will never be alone on your journey because the Savior will always be with you.."
I felt that so powerfully, so keenly this morning. I am not alone in this.
When I got on my blog to post this, lo and behold I had a comment on my previous post. I have been writing on here for almost six months, having no idea if anyone else would ever find or read what I had written, many times feeling very alone in my experience. I don't know who you are, how you found my blog, or what prompted you to comment now, but thank you Luke. Your post was a miracle in my morning. I am not alone.
