As life is slowly making its way back to some sense of normalcy, I find it harder and harder to allow myself to go to the depths of sorrow and sorting through required for ultimate healing. I struggle to know how to go from sobbing uncontrollably to picking up my little one from preschool, so some days I just don't go there even when I need to. It doesn't go away, though. The emotions can't be ignored or put off or stuffed away. They find a way to come out somehow - at times that are often less than opportune.
I'm learning that I have to give myself permission to heal, including the time and energy to do it. I'm having to eliminate any extra burdens, obligations, appointments, & stresses in my life so that I can focus on myself and my healing. I struggle to not feel guilty about it, especially since I'm not able to give explanations, but I'm learning to be much more compassionate and much less judgmental of myself and of others. You never know what burdens others are really carrying.
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